Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
