like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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