just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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