I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize