I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
