Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
