i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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