I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
