butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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