Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
