Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
