I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just want to make out with him forever
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
