her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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