Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
