walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
