ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
