well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
