hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
