Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
