STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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