i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
