I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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