so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
