ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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