She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
