I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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