You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
