ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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