...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
