Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
