Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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