I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
