Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
