I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
