Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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