she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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