I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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