Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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