sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
