I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize