Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
