He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
