Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
