the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
God, I missed his penis.
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