I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
