Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
