i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
