So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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