yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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