i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize