We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
