Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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