Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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