I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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