hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize