is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
