Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We named our party play list daddy issues
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
