been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
