Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
