is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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