Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it glows. i had to have it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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