I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize