Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
