Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
