I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
