Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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